How to get fired from a job in five seconds flat

February 09 2015

By Julia Richardson – For most of us skipping work is risky business. Many companies, like Wal-Mart, have no-call policies. This means, if you miss work, you need to call in. Failure to do so will result in termination of employment.

It’s pretty standard. No matter what the individual company policy is on the number of absences in relation to termination, if you’re sick, you call. And if you miss too much work, you’re fired.

Of course that’s all in theory. It doesn’t always work like that. In fact, USA Today recently reported about a man in India who had skipped work for 24 years. Let that sink in.

AK Verma is his name and he was a Central Public Works Department senior engineer. His paid vacation started in December 1990. Unfortunately for Verma, he was fired last week.

As it turns out, India’s labor laws are pretty strict. While this may seem like a good thing, the law makes it really, really hard to fire anyone. Add in a little bureaucracy, and you end up with an employee missing work for 24 years before anything could be done about it.

 

In the United States, however, immediate termination is a thing. As in, it exists and happens all the time. Apart from not showing up, here are a few “just cause” for how to get fired from a job:

  • Inappropriate Use of Company Resources
  • Theft
  • Leaking Sensitive Information
  • Providing False Information on Resume
  • Harassment
  • Vandalism
  • Drug and Alcohol Use
  • Safety Policy Violations

Setting apart federal employment laws, you can legally get fired for misusing company resources (which includes perusing adult websites), theft, leaking sensitive information, lying on your resume, stealing things from work, harassing others (sexual or otherwise), vandalizing office property, using drugs, drinking on the job, and compromising the health and safety of others.

While most of these seem like a no-brainer, rules usually exist for a reason. Taking a 24-year vacation sounds fabulous, but even in India; you’ll eventually get fired.

How to get fired from a job

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